Dear wife, you
surely realize that you are 54 years old, I have certain needs that you
simply can not get high quality and fully satisfy. On every
other side, our marriage is harmonious, I am satisfied with you as a
woman, and I truly hope that this fax machine will not hurt or upset you
too much. After work I go to a motel with my 18 year old assistant, but I will be home before midnight - your husband. "
When he arrived at the motel at the reception he waited for a fax from his wife:
"My
dear husband and you are 54 years old, and at the moment when you read
these lines, I will be in another motel with my 18 year old waitress
from the neighboring bar, and since you are a genius mathematician, it
will certainly not be difficult for you to realize that 18 in 54 goes a
lot many times than 54 in 18, do not wait for me - your wife!
Zeni lover comes home while her husband is at work. Her nine-year-old son comes home suddenly, sees them and hides in the wardrobe to keep them watching.Zen's husband also comes home. She puts the lover in the closet, not knowing that her son is already inside.
Boy: - It's dark here.The man: - Yes, it's dark.Boy: - I have a football ball.The man: - That's nice.Boy: - Do you want to buy it?The man: - No, thanks.Boy: - My dad is out there.Men: - OK, how much?Boy: - 250 EUR
After a few weeks, the man and the children met again in the closet.Boy: - It's dark here.The man: - Yes, it's dark.Boy: - I have soccer shoes.Remembering what happened last time, a manshe asked: "How much?"Boy: - 750 EURThe man sighed: - Okay.A couple of days later, the father says to his son: - Take the ball and sneakers, let's go play.The boy answered: - I can not, I sold the ball and sneakers.The father asked: - How much did you sell them?Boy: - For 1,000 EURFather: - It's terrible, how could you make your friends so ... it's a lot more than these two things really are worth!Now I'm taking you to church to confess !!!The father took his son to the church and into the confessional and closed the door.Boy: - It's dark here.Pop: - Do not start with this shit again.
Dear Mom and Dad,We spend great time on the first camping. Cika Toma forces us to write to parents in case you saw a flood on television. We are good. Only one tent and two sleeping bags took water. Nobody drove all the luck because we were all in the mountain looking for Perica. Oh yes, tell Perice's parents that Perica is good. He can not write for himself because of a fracture. Otherwise, I was driving in one of the rescue jeeps. It was nice. We would never have seen Perica in the dark if there was no lightning. Cika Toma yelled at Perica because he went to sit alone and did not tell anyone. Perica says he told him during a fire. Tom believed him not because he was drunk.Did you know that when gas is placed in a fire, it explodes? Even after that, the wet wood will not burn, but this is why a tent is burned. And my pants, but I have bermuda. And Dule is now quite messy without hair. We will come home on Sunday if Tom's Toma fixes the car by then. It was not his fault when we landed on the road, says that the brakes were working when we started. Cika
Toma says that the car is so old that it is not a miracle that it is
constantly dirty and that it's a bum when we are in the car. It is nice that Tom's gentleman let us hold the wheel from time to time so that he can rest his eyes. Since Nikola is the oldest, Tika Tom teaches him to ride, but only on hiking trails because there is little traffic there. The only things we saw on these roads are heavy trucks, the car is gone.This
morning, everyone went swimming in the lake, but Tom did not want to
let Tom go, because I do not know how to swim, so I went with him to the
lake across the lake. It was nice. Trees are still under water for flooding.Cika Toma is really great, she never cries to us. He did not even get angry when we removed the life-belts.Since he has to fix the car, we are trying not to make trouble for him and we are hiding all day. Cika Tom never knows where we are. At first, he was disturbed and now he's getting used to it. Cika Toma says that we all passed the basic school of first aid when
John was drowned and when Ivan cut the wood and cut off his finger.I and the lads were vomiting, but Tommy says that he knows why, so it's OK. I think that the chicken we took from the house and forgot to eat immediately. We only remembered when they found the animals. I have to go now, we go to the village to steal stamps for letters, because we have no money. Do not worry, I'm fine.
п.с. Cika Toma said to ask if I received a tetanus vaccine?What is a tetanus?
"When you return to your mother tonight, give her this envelope and tell her that since you
is now 18 years old, this is the last check that will ever be seen by me for
alimentation. Then move away and observe the expression on her face. "
Daughter
"Mom, my father asked me to hand over this envelope to you. He told me to say yes
Since I am now 18 years old, this is the last payment of alimony
which you will ever get.
And now I should move away and observe the expression of your face. "
Divorced mother
"Next time you visit your father, tell him that after 18 years, I finally decided
to inform him that he is not your father ... and then move away and observe
expression on his face. "
The Spanish teacher explained to her students that the Spanish also
distinguished the genus for common nouns, and that everything exists as a
female and male.
For example, the house is of the feminine genus: 'la casa,' and 'pencil,' is why the masculine gender is 'el lapiz.'
The students asked, 'Who is the genus' computer '?'
Instead
of answering them, the professor divided them into two groups, male and
female, and asked them to decide whether the "computer" belongs to a
female or male. Each group was given the task of explaining its determination for four reasons.
Men have decided that a 'computer' must definitely be a female ('la computadora') because:
1 Nobody but their creator understands their inner logic;
2. The original language used to communicate with other computers is completely incompatible with everyone else;
3. The least errors are stored far in the memory for eventual later recall;
4. At the moment when you tie up one, you find yourself in a situation
where you spend half your income for their needs and accessories.
(And THAT IS BETTER!)
The women's group therefore concluded that the computer must be male ('el computador'), because
1. To get any benefit from him you have to start it;
2. They have a huge number of data but can not think independently;
3. They are designed to solve problems, but half the time they themselves pose a problem;
4. As soon as you bind one, you discover that you will get a new, more advanced model that you just wait a little longer.
The women's team won.
1. Do not get pregnant that you can change something on a man. Unless he wears diapers.
2. What do you do when a man slams the door on the outside? Lock them inside.
3. If they have already sent one man to the moon, they should be able to send them all!
4. Do not let your man's thoughts wander. They were too small to be out there alone.
5. Always choose a younger man. He never ripens.
6. Men are all the same - they have different faces just to be able to recognize them.
7. Definition of binge eating: a man who has missed a chance to hit a woman.
8. It is not true that women make men's men. Most men are bored with the motto "Do it yourself!"
9. The only way a man is asked to do something is to tell him that he is too old to do it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is an experience that opens your eyes.
11. If you really want a man who's going to be with you, look at him at the mental illness hospital.
12. Israel's sons wandered in the desert for 40 years. There, and in ancient times, men were under the honor of asking for a trip.
13. If he asks you whether you like playing cards, say "yes, but only with credit cards".
14. Remember that the sense of humor does not mean telling jokes to him, but laughing at his jokes.
15. All men are created equal. Unfortunately, this includes men as well.
A woman with a morning coffee reads the newspaper and realizes that her Lotto is a lot
pulled out the week.
All the lucky ones go to the safe to quit. When there, she's safe
Excuses - because of a reduction in work, the overwhelming must go, but for
comfort, with a huge retirement.
Double happy, decide to buy a new car.
He enters the nearest car salon, and at that moment the fireworks begin.
A salesman approaches her and says: You are a millionth visitor and you are getting us
free latest Mercedes model !!!
Already in the juice, a woman in a new car goes home.
Put a time of champagne, come to the window and see - they get a husband in his car.
He was at the entrance to the street, hit by a truck and the car disappeared into the flames.
Woman raised her time, toasted and mumble: When he moves you, he moves you!
